Money Matters

FOTD: Sad face... =(

Aww... It's salary day already... However, I don't feel that happy because I have to think of expenses. Its so pathetic because I can't even spend the things that I wanted. I always put other people forward. I always want to give until there's none left for me. I don't know if I am just too generous, responsible, or what...

Sometimes, I feel like, I only work to earn money only to keep on working. You know what I mean? I mean, it's like I live from paycheck to paycheck. It's not right, I know. But in our situation (fiance's mom got cancer and undergoes treatment, we have siblings to send to college, my room rent, etc), it's difficult to keep money for myself. I can't even open a bank account because the budget is just right for everything. I want to have an extra job or a small business but I don't know how. I can't have a part time job because I already work in the PM shift, therefore, if I still have another job in the morning, I would end up lacking sleep and getting sickly again. I can't put up a small business (which, by the way, I had been planning to ever since) because I barely have a budget.

Sometimes, I feel so pitiful for myself because I can't buy things that I wanted. I can't buy make-up brands that I wanted to try. As far as I can remember, the most expensive item I've ever purchased was my Skinfood Aloe BB Cream. I don't buy make-up often; I usually buy when I alreadt ran out of it. Same with clothes, I don't buy unless my clothes are worn out already (hehehe...).

Honey budgets the money we earn. He shows me the computation. I can't handle that task because there would definitely nothing left for me to spend, given that I always think about the others. When he budgets the money, he makes sure I have something to spend for myself. I think he has the same logic as my mom; try to reward yourself (maybe because it would help keep you motivated).

Anyway, I don't know what to do. Should I get a higher paying job? Should I have a part-time job? Should I just save the money my Honey sets aside for me to start a small business? I feel so sad each time salary day comes... =(

Crappy day... Add up the number and length of classes I have for today... Haizt! x__x

My make-up cheers me up a bit... but it seems that the shades agree with what I feel...

I need someone and something to cheer me up..... T__T